Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Sonicmixmaster 9 day.agoThe Husband StoreA brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!" So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-Dead Good Looking and Help with Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. The 1st floor has wives that love sex. The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
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It takes only 1 to ruin a good neighbourhood
Walk through Africa with a cup of water
She looked surprised.
They found her head and shoulders in the glove box
The Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says, "There's plenty more of that where I come from." Everyone is impressed. The Cuban takes out one of the finest Havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says, "There's plenty more of those where I come from." Again everyone is rather impressed. So the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train.
The leaf, the rope stopped the Emo.
But you’re on a FBI watchlist if you donate 26
A boy says to his dad, "Why do they say gardeners have got green fingers when their fingers aren't green?" His dad replies, "It's just a saying, son. It's like when someone is caught stealing something, they say that they've been caught red-handed', even though their hands are actually black." ___ credit: r/sickipedia
Before they start, the girl says, "Jacques, give me a kiss!" So he grabs the bottle of Merlot, pours some into her mouth, and exclaims, "When the French take red meat, we take it with red wine!" before giving her a long, deep kiss. They continue kissing, and get more and more passionate. After a while, the girl breaks away and says, "Jacques! Kiss me... lower." And so he kisses her down her neck and towards her bosom. As he reaches her breasts, he grabs the bottle of Chardonnay, pours it onto her breasts and exclaims, "When the French take white meat, we take it with white wine!" before licking and sucking on her breasts eagerly. After a while, the girl can no longer take it, and whispers into his ear, "Jacques, I want you to go... lower." And so he gradually lowers himself and pulls down her panties. As he nears her pussy, he grabs the bottle of whiskey, pours it over her pussy, and then grabs his lighter and sets her bush on fire, before exclaiming, "When the French go down, we go down in flames!".
It was made in China
On the dot.
Because two Wongs don’t make a white
Eventually they will both get laid by a Mexican.
Put it into airplane mode
Racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died
Because they shoot the ones who go to school
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned." Priest: "What have you done my child?" Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch." Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?" Girl: "Because he touched my hand." Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he touched my breast." Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father." Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where." Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where) Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!" Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "But father he had AIDS!" Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
She was also on the dashboard, and the steering wheel, and the gear shift, and the windshield....
Because in 10 million years they'll be niggers. -------------- Edit: [Source](http://www.sickipedia.net/j/Racism/Black/60064)
‘’Drop it nigga’’
It may not be exactly what you wanted but that doesn't stop your Dad from giving it to you anyway.
I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car
Obviously a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without offering suggestions.
Really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Ash.
The perfect rape victim!
You might get shot by the police.
...we go with Human Lives Matter? That way, it excludes the niggers.
The gorilla has a dad
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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